‘Death his religion – blood his lust!’
Guru the Mad Monk is a 1970 American horror film written and directed by low-budget trash auteur Andy Milligan (The Body Beneath; The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!; The Ghastly Ones; Bloodthirsty Butchers). It was presumably inspired by Hammer Film’s Rasputin, the Mad Monk (1966).
Guru is a mad monk. Guru is the chaplain of an island-bound 15th century prison. As well as providing spiritual guidance, he delivers prisoner punishments, which range from hands being chopped off to execution. Guru, at first, seems nice enough… you know, despite the whole torture and execution thing. He helps Carl (Paul Lieber), a prison guard, save Nadja (Judith Israel) from her punishment. Only Guru’s help doesn’t come free. He asks Carl to rob graves for him. Guru also shelters Olga (Jaqueline Webb) — his mistress, who also happens to be a bloodsucking vampire.
Guru is quick to murder when questions are raised about his dodgy management of his prison and church. When out-of-luck drifters show up looking for the Lord’s help, Guru and Olga swiftly relieve them of their lives after offering a bit of false hope. Yep, Guru is a sick bastard, but I couldn’t help but kind of like him. Guru is played by Neil Flanagan. Flanagan gives a decent performance, but he is a pretty harmless and gentle looking guy.
There are aspects to Guru’s personality that give him a few more layers than your average mad monk. Guru really loves his prison, and his relationship with Olga is fascinating. He genuinely sees himself as a force for good, and when he stabs a drifter to death (in an admittedly hilariously fake scene) he shows a sad remorse.
Best of all is his relationship with Igor (Jack Spencer), the obligatory church hunchback. His treatment of the hunchback is perversely manipulative. But, sadism aside, he needs Igor, and he knows it. Guru lectures the sweetly innocent Igor in a beautifully mad moment: “I can say anything to you, you ignorant bastard, and you just smile… maybe God knew how desolate and forsaken this place was when he gave you to me to talk to… to keep me from going out of my mind. What a beautiful smile, it’s all you really have, isn’t it?” His words are cruel and made me feel rather ill, but there is something oddly touching about the scene. It’s stuff like this that makes Milligan’s films far more interesting that your average exploitation picture.
Guru was shot and cut in the chaotic matter you would expect from Andy Milligan. The camera wobbles around all over the place. The edits are abrupt and without any acknowledgement of continuity. Actors jump between different parts of the set as the shot moves to the next. While not as exhilarating as Milligan’s best, there is still an energy in Guru that is undeniable.
Though the poster screams that Guru is “A GORY TALE OF TERROR!” shot in “BLOOD DRIPPING COLOR”, it is very tame. The film ends in a bluster of poorly executed violence, but other than its manic conclusion there is little bloodletting. There is, however, one extended scene of torture spliced in out of nowhere that is fantastic in its ineptitude. Mannequin hands go flying, ping-pong ball eyes are stabbed, and a head is awkwardly decapitated. It’s great.
Guru, the Mad Monk is not the best starting point for those new to the demented world of Andy Milligan. However, those already well-versed in his sadistic stylings will lap it up. It features the requisite mean-spirited dialogue, entertaining performances, sick and silly acts of depravity (mild though they may be in comparison to his better known works), and a loving relationship between a mad monk and his hunchback.
Dave Jackson, guest reviewer from Mondo Exploito
Availability:
The splendid fellows at US retro label Vinegar Syndrome have been nice enough to make available a high quality download of Guru. It’s free, though tips are appreciated. Or…
Buy Retromedia DVD from Amazon.com
