Massage Parlor Murders is a 1973 crime thriller directed by Chester Fox and Alex Stevens. Set around the Times Square area of New York, though receiving a respectable cinema run at the time, it was never released on home video and has only very recently been made available for the armchair viewer by the film distribution company, Vinegar Syndrome, which specialises in releasing films considered ‘lost’.
1970′s New York is the backdrop for a series of brutal murders, seemingly targeting the working girls of the city’s massage establishments. On the case are ‘beyond the law’ detectives; the permanently angry Rosetti (George Spencer) and the laid back David Soul of the pair, O’Mara (John Moser). O’Mara becomes pally and then romantically involved with Gwen (played by Last House on the Last alumni, Sandra Peaboy), the room-mate of the first victim, whom Rosetti was, unbeknownst to all, conducting an affair with.
Despite their best efforts, which mostly rely on Rosetti beating up completely innocent guys in the vicinity of massage parlors, the murders continue, leading to a remarkable car-chase which sees O’Mara clad only in a towel (having been staking out a budget Plato’s retreat style haunt), wrecking a fish stall and causing havoc, only for the eventual cad to be a minor-league sex-pest rather than a vicious murderer. They consult a local psychic (played with typical verve by genuine fruit-loop, Brother Theodore, seen in The ‘Burbs and sex-laden Jaws spoof, Gums) whom the girls all seem to have been visiting but there are no further leads, though our Brotherly friend gives an eye-popping performance anyway; it’s difficult to say whether he had any idea he was appearing in a film.
The murders continue and often end with a Herschell Gordon Lewis level of blood and ‘matter’, the garish red hues sparkling on the bluray upgrade it has been afforded. Beyond Brother Theodore’s appearance, other recognisable faces include Chris Jordan as one of the hookers (seen in several Joe Sarno films and the classic sexploitation film Teenage Hitchhikers, also ex-wife of legendary porn actor Eric Edwards), the first screen appearance of George Dzundza (later seen in The Deer Hunter and Salem’s Lot, as well as dozens of TV roles) and Beverly Bonner, the sassy Casey from Basket Case and Anne Gaybis, glimpsed in everything from Black Shampoo to Friday 13th Part III.
Though the film’s ending rather smacks of the directors suddenly realising they’ve nearly run out of film (quite likely) it doesn’t detract from an absolutely magnificent spectacle. As a slice of 70′s NY sleaze, you could barely wish for better and the care Vinegar Syndrome have taken with their restoration is to be commended. The scenes of Times Square sleaze pits and grindhouses will have aficionados frothing at the mouth whilst fans of the ear-searingly kitsch will revel at some of the most remarkable wallpaper ever conceived.
Far better than its obscurity would suggest, Massage Parlor Murders is essential viewing, the acting being never less than engaging, the script peppered with enjoyable of-the-era jive talk (and a brief discussion about the merits of Shaft’s Big Score), a cracking score and a resolution that is suitably ridiculous.
Daz Lawrence
